The Daily Opinion

Microsoft: Back in the Game Part 1 – Surface

So Microsoft has been pretty busy this week. It has held two live events almost back to back showcasing some new software and hardware. That’s right, H-A-R-D-W-A-R-E. We’ll talk about that first, shall we? What is this new piece of hardware? Well, for many moons leading up to the announcement, several rumours had SURFACED as to what Microsoft potentially had up their sleeves and on June 18th, not one, but two tablets were announced.

Eurgh, fingerprints.

Both tablets are Microsoft branded as opposed to being manufactured by HP or Dell and running Windows like computers we see today. Both tablets are 10.6 inches and both are named Surface but it is the suffixes and size that separate them. The first tablet is “Surface for Windows RT”. As the name suggests, it is designed only to run Windows RT. Windows RT is the slimmest of all Windows 8 releases as it only allows Metro apps to be installed and run making it the perfect OS for a tablet. Surface for Windows RT has the usual WiFi capabilities and USB connections and is driven by a Nvidia Tegra processor all in a slim 9.3mm form factor weighing 1.5lbs.

Another four millimetres thicker and we move onto “Surface for Windows 8 Pro”. Weighing in at just under 2lbs, this model comes with the Pro version of Windows 8 meaning that you get the full Windows 8 experience with Metro as well as the generic Windows desktop we all love. With the heavier operating system, the hardware is also more substantial compared to Surface for ‘RT. Surface for ‘Pro steps things up a gear with an Ivy Bridge CPU, USB 3.0 and a larger battery.

Looks like there a reflection of a window in the...oh no, it's actually the logo.

Both tablets feature a pop out kick stand. The Surface for ‘Pro will come in 64GB and 128GB flavours whereas the RT version will come in 32GB and 64GB. Users may also choose between two addons, a Touch or Type keyboard.

Lets hope there are more colours to choose from...

This was a highlight for me personally. Adding only an additional 3mm to whichever Surface model you are using, the Surface Touch Cover looks like a a regular tablet cover similar to the Apple Smart Cover but if Apple’s one was smart, then this would be genius. The cover features a multitouch keyboard as well as a trackpad. The keys are slightly raised so users can actually feel the keys plus they are pressure sensitive so fingers can be rested on the keys before typing without firing off any letters, unlike on regular touch screen keyboards. Microsoft is also catering for those not into the whole touch thing with a Type Cover which has tactive keys instead of the pressure sensitive ones. Both act as a cover, although personally I would go with the Touch Cover for two reasons – one, it is pretty cool; and two, the surface of the keyboard is covered in a sort of soft felt finish that will not scratch the display, the Type Cover, wierdly, doesn’t have this even though it could be easily implemented.

So that that wraps up Part 1 in our coverage of honestly, a huge step for Microsoft. I most definitely will be getting myself a Surface. I have not decided which version yet but watch this space as a review may just appear. Stay tuned for Part II where we will look at Microsoft’s new mobile OS which does not disappoint. At all.

What it takes to be a Superstar

Being a Superstar is much like being a King (or Queen, sorry feminism) in that more often than not there can be only one true head of popular culture reigning supreme, providing a template to emulate and later a deterrent for the hipsters to flock from. Alas, like King William and Queen Mary; some lucky buggers have been nice enough to share the treasured cradle, but not always. So in essence, what actually does make a modern musical icon? I hustled my two beautiful brain-cells together for this almighty of questions, and this is what I got.

Don’t be a f*cking Pisshead

Original Pogues’ frontman and a beauty to behold, Shane McGowan (pictured left) according to rumour first drank stout at the age of six – and due to his unending thirst for his face on a piss strewed backstage urinal, the man has yet to quell his drink habit – and subsequently regain any mass public sympathy (or recognition for that matter). Although the likes of John Bonham, Jim Morrison and Amy Winehouse have gone on to reach quasi-legend status, the fact they couldn’t keep their proverbial hands out the cookie jar has solidified them as rock n’ rolls tragedies. After all, addressing your pop-culture subjects entails a working mind, and a pulse.

Be the complete opposite

With cliché rhetoric like “What doesn’t kill you makes you makes you stronger’ and an origin story that makes the U.S Consitution look like Gaddafi’s history of sexual encounters – Kelly Clarkson embodies the clean-cut, democratically elected pop-star that epitomises the ‘oh-so nice’ ‘girl next door’ appeal that’s needed if you’re gonna hold a legitimate claim to the crown of popular music. If Clarkson’s family friendly aura isn’t initiating any sign of nausea, Jessie J’s “Just DO IT LIKE A DUDE, forget about the PRICE TAG, STAND UP for the love. Remember, NOBODY’S PERFECT and always be true to WHO YOU ARE” are sure to have to dashing for the nearest Oasis album, you’ll always need your music insulin to keep your rock n’ roll glucose levels in balance. Next.

Have a myriad of hits

Of course, nothing entitles to you to music super-stardom more than a list of hit albums and singles. Being a contender for the title usually implies a pretty hefty (and half decent) back-catalog, but many a star has gone without this most prestigious of prerequisites. Jennifer Lopez has yet to wash up a good solid record to show for her pseudo-iconic status in the American pop world, such cultural anomalies still allude me to this day. Worthy examples would include Beyoncé and the Princess of Pop herself, Britney. Both of which have contributed heavily to ‘the gay man’s top ten things that ever happened to this planet, ever’; forget Adele’s amazing yet short stint in the eye of the globe – if you want super-stardom you better be prepared to be in it for the long haul. Or have your head shaved, either way.

Get a cause, any cause

Being a cultural legend means that merely by expectation you have to do something with it. Take Bono for example; “the face of fusion philanthropy” – a man whose sheer status as a pop symbol entitled him anything from a place at Bob Geldof’s Live Aid to chilling with the president of Brazil, all in the name of helping starving children of course. And who couldn’t mention Lady Gaga herself, a woman who managed to do a profoundly pretentious and over-hyped “concept album” about self-acceptance while simultaneously appointing herself PR Executive for the entire planet’s LGBT community. Blur bassist Alex James found himself useful in his band’s hiatus and became a neo-calorie crusader of sorts, gracing the pages of The Sun as their now resident Food Columnist; cringeworthy I know but brownie points for standing out. Oh wait, double brownie points – by actually championing our fatty favourites he’s become a culinary rebel. A foodie and a rockstar rolled into one, anything’s possible.

Film Review: School For Scoundrels

For me, the fact that this film stars Terry-Thomas makes it worth watching. Throw in the wonderful talents of Alistair Sim and Ian Carmichael and you have three of the biggest stars from Britain’s golden age of cinema. Terry-Thomas has always fascinated me, even when I was a child. Whether he was oozing villainous charm dressed and manicured as a perfect cad while fawning over some young lovely or blustering dastardliness as his suave persona fell apart when events turned against him he was and still is wonderfully entertaining. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the definition of the word “Dastardly” in any reputable dictionary said something about a Terry-Thomas character being up to his neck in some plan or other. In fact, the cartoon character Dick Dastardly from the Wacky Races kids TV show was essentially a caricature of Terry-Thomas.

The plot of the film is fairly simple. Ian Carmichael plays Henry Palfrey, a mild-mannered young man and ineffectual businessman who considers himself a failure. Everyone from his employees to his tennis club pals seem to take little notice of him and so he enrols in the “School of Lifemanship” run by Dr. Potter (Alistair Sim) who explains to his class of new students that “Lifemanship is the science of being one up on your opponents at all times. It is the art of making him feel that somewhere, somehow he has become less than you – less desirable, less worthy, less blessed.”

After the good doctor surmises that a woman must be involved when interviewing Palfrey, we see Palfrey recount in flashback how he came to meet the lovely April Smith (Janette Scott) by bumping into her getting off a bus and how his carefully planned dinner date was ruined by Raymond Delauney (Terry-Thomas). There’s a wonderful scene where Palfrey arrives with his charming date at the restaurant only to be refused entry by the maître d’ (a brilliantly snobbish turn by the marvellous John Le Mesurier) because of some mix up with the name of the booking. Unfortunately for Palfrey, before he acts on April’s advice that they go elsewhere to eat, Delauney saunters into the restaurant and, being a casual acquaintance of Palfrey through the tennis club, invites him and (more importantly) his date to join him at his table. Delauney then proceeds to spend the entire evening seducing April and in a perfect example of one-upmanship, reduces Palfrey’s fragile ego even further by getting him to foot the bill. Palfrey then makes several further puny attempts to impress his new girlfriend, including buying a car and trying to prove his tennis prowess against Delauney but fails on both accounts miserably.

Then the flashback ends and we concentrate on Palfrey’s time at the school and how quickly he picks up the art of gaining the upper hand in any given situation. The film then follows him using his newly-acquired skills as he gets his own back on pretty much everyone who had looked down on him earlier. Hilarity ensues as we see how easily he trumps Delauney’s caddish behaviour by becoming an even bigger and more skilful cad himself. However, it’s not all plain sailing for him and…at which point I’ll say no more.

School for Scoundrels is definitely worth checking out as it’s one of those charming black and white comedies that Britain made so well in the ’50s and ’60s. There’s also a wonderful sense of nostalgia to be enjoyed when seeing parts of London as they were half a century ago, when roads were clearer, trees were more abundant and social etiquette was still bordering on formal. That and three of the finest comic talents from the era. Absolutely one to be enjoyed. One final word of caution though: don’t suppose for a minute that the 2006 Hollywood remake starring Billy Bob Thornton will be in the same league.

The Sins of Proprietary: Retina Display MacBook Pro totally upgrade proof.

Thinking of buying that shiny new 15 inch MacBook Pro with a Retina display? Are you slightly short of cash at the moment so planning on going for the lower spec with smaller RAM and HDD and then upgrading those down the line? If you answered yes to both then proceed to my third question, for which the answer will be the same as the last two: Are you going to be kicking yourself when you realise that Apple’s new flagship portable device is the least upgradable notebook of any in kind?

The kind folk over at ifixit performed their extensive teardowns they do with most electronics that have come to the market. Their findings are pretty disturbing. There is basically no way that the average consumer can upgrade this laptop in any way or shape. At all.

So what can’t be upgraded that could have been in the previous versions? Well the MacBook Pros have always been pretty open giving consumers the ability to add more RAM and hard drive space and more seasoned computer “fiddlers” may have also replaced their optical drive with another hard drive. None of this can be done now, especially the changing of the optical drive as, well, there isn’t one to replace.

As you can see above, two rows of memory chips, plus an additional two rows which are on the reverse, are all soldered onto the motherboard. Planning on getting 8GB and upgrading to 16GB yourself when you need it? No happening. This also spans to the storage space. SSD as standard is great but what happens when you start running out of the 256GB of space on it? With the previous MacBook Pros you just get a bigger SSD, stick it in, and clone from your Time Machine backup and you are up and and running again. Not here.

From what we can see in the photos, that thin strip of chips that is being lifted is the SSD. Some good news is that it is not soldered which means that it can be swapped. Bad news: swapped with what? What looks like an mSATA connection is actually a proprietary slot that only exists in the Retina MacBook Pro so your upgrade options are only viable if you own another Retina MacBook Pro and you want to swap drives with that or have a friend with one who wants a smaller drive. Possible? Sure. Likely? Probably not. And then we come to the battery. The 2009-2010 edition MacBook Pros had removable batteries. The later models had them locked inside of the chassis but they were still replaceable. The batteries on the Retina MBP? Glued.

That’s right, ifixit found that all six cells are glued to the system and any tampering will likely void your warranty.

And finally, we come to that beautiful screen. Surely if there was a dead pixel or some kind of error with the display, all Apple would have to do is remove the lid, open up the display swap out the panel right? Right…? Wrong. The panel is sealed shut inside the display assembly. But that’s not too bad, I hear you say…this also means that if something goes wrong with your iSight camera, WiFi or Bluetooth, then you’d have to replace the whole display assembly as well. Ah. Why? Because the antennas and the camera module are all sealed inside that display assembly. Imagine you just ran out of warranty, and then your iSight camera packs it in or your WiFi stopped responding. On the old MacBook Pros, you’d take it in and they’d charge you for a new camera or some antenna cables. Now, they’ll probably charge you for a whole Retina Display assembly. Ouch.

To conclude, what does all this mean for the consumer and the rest of the world? Well first of all, if you are planning to buy one of these then you need to be thinking far, far ahead and wondering if you would ever need more than what you are configuring your system with now. Oh and did I mention if you didn’t need the quicker processor and opting for the 2.3Ghz one, you then don’t have the choice of the bigger SSD, you are stuck with the 256GB on? This forces you to dish out all the dosh for the higher end model with more configuration options which you don’t need just because you want the larger storage space. This is a classic marketing ploy; giving customers what looks like choice but actually, if they want one small upgrade, they have to take the lot and pay for it.

The new MBPs are also worse for the environment now. With the introduction of the unibody design, the 2009-2011 MacBook Pros were crafted in highly recyclable aluminium and glass. Good. Now that aluminium is glued to the glass, it creates all kinds of difficulties for the recycling industry.

So. The new Retina Display MacBook Pro. A step forward in technology. A step forward in profit. And a big step forward in greed.

Is the Internet for Them or for Us?

Recent internet governance is ambiguous at best as it’s no longer just the domain of that strange guy you see on the bus. It’s the domain of anyone who wants to try and take control of it. Conspiracy theorists have tried to yell and scream over the years that the governments of the world are attempting to use their tentacles to ensnare the internet and take it over like some strange Japanese porn flick, and it turns out they were right.

Internet ball — I wonder what's in the centre? I hope it's chocolate.

As we can see from recent legislation in the UK, the government is attempting to force internet providers to make all information about email messages and web history available to police for approximately one year. And we all know about internet restrictions in China and Iran. In fact, even little Ethiopia is getting in on the act as they attempt to bring in more restrictions to bring the internet under the control of the state.

What’s clear is this: internet governance is now a very real possibility.

Is there anything we can do about it though? The answer is absolutely. We can take on the governments of the world because we know that they are slow and clunky. If one of their security fields can be bypassed then it will take them months, and sometimes years, to sort out the problems again. I’m not worried for the conspiracy theorists or the computer geeks out there because people like us laugh in the face of the state’s attempts at restricting access to certain areas. Just look at the recent Pirate Bay ban. One proxy later and I’m back in my lovely bay of brothels, seadogs, rum, and questionable downloads.

Can the government take the whole thing over?

My answer is absolutely not. The only way that they could do this is if they turned into a dictatorial state where they directly admitted that they were controlling the internet. At the moment we are still playing a guerrilla game as they still pretend that they are doing this in the interest of justice and law. And as any good computer user knows, that couldn’t be more wrong. Those who deal in crime will not be fooled by some minor blocking techniques. All this will catch is the novices and the innocent, so in other words it’s a complete waste of time. And it’s not just a waste of time, it’s a £1.8 billion waste of time from the UK taxpayer.

The Dictator

For now, I can confidently say that the freedom of the internet still lives on and internet governance has not yet come into force in the western world, but I do have my fears. Those computer novices will be suffering already, but those with even the slightest nugget of knowledge will still be safe. I don’t think that there will be any outright control over the internet anytime soon. However, our freedom will be steadily eroded away in the coming years.

Get those tinfoil hats out, conspiracy theorists and normal people alike!

News in Briefs 17/06/12

Well this week was a week for keeping fear alive. I haven’t seen this much scaremongering since 9/11, and even that wasn’t talking about the global meltdown of the capitalist world. But it’s not a very good campaign of fear as I don’t really feel scared. I sort of feel like ‘meh’. And even in the face of all of these carefully constructed arguments for why we are on the precipice of destruction, I still find that I’m not that scared.

Political Oops of the Week

This week it has to be that old bitch Theresa May who has now unveiled plans for web monitoring. To put it simply, she wasn’t content with making the police force want to hang her from the Tower of London so she now decided to annoy every taxpayer. The plans will involve internet companies holding onto all email messages, web histories, and basically everything else that goes on on the internet for up to one year. In other words, she is part of the move for the state to take over the freedom of the internet.

The only defence she has given for this is that it will help stop crime. What a load of putrid donkey vomit! Those who carry out crime on the internet will easily find a way around it, and even those who are not dealing in crime will still find a way around it. Take a look at the ban they put on The Pirate Bay in the UK. I was around that ban within five minutes and I can still access that site now. All it will do is damage the privacy of the novice computer user. And in all honesty this obsession with crime is going too far as now we are sacrificing all privacy and all freedom in the name of the law. It’s just not worth it.

With any luck there will be such overwheming opposition when the bill eventually goes to parliament that it will be rejected like America’s latest SOPA act. Oh, and did I mention that these plans will cost the taxpayer £1.8 billion to implement?

The Painful…

There was a show called The Men Who Made Us Fat on BBC2 this week, and my god it just showed how deluded the large majority of people really are. Now, I’m not saying that you should start by going off to watch it and then you should come back and tell me what you think; there would be too much blank space on this blog whilst I wait. Just look at the title. It’s already blaming others for the fact that people are so fat these days. If everybody was fat then that would be perfectly acceptable and it would be somebody else’s fault, but it’s not.

The fact is that lots of people managed to stay fit and healthy, so why not everybody else? We really have to start taking some responsibility for ourselves as we have blamed others for too long. A few years ago we blamed McDonalds for making our kids fat. No, it’s your fault your kids got fat because the only way they can get that food is if you got it for them. “Oh but what if my kids got it on the way home from school?” Well they obviously got the money from you in the first place. If your kids are fat then it’s your fault because you’re a bad parent. End of discussion.

It really is painful to still see the media and so many others blaming the people who make the food. Haven’t they heard of supply and demand? If there’s a demand then they’ll keep making it, and that’s what they are doing. You don’t have to buy it.

…And the Pointless

This week Tony Blair came back into the news whilst he was in Hong Kong giving a lecture on faith and globalisation at the Hong Kong University. He made the news because Tom Grundy, a 29-year-old Briton living in the country, attempted a citizen’s arrest on the former PM. Of course, he only really managed to heckle him as his men and a crowd of photographers kept him a few meters away from the stage, but he said the move was symbolic.

Regardless of how you feel about the Iraq War, you can’t help but think that it was a completely pointless and half-arsed attempt at doing something. People won’t remember this move a few weeks from now at all. In fact, he (Blair) probably couldn’t care less either. People need to start letting these things go because no government has declared him a war criminal and he’s not a wanted man. If he’s not a wanted man then that’s the end of it. It might not be a popular decision, but that’s how it is no matter what anyone else thinks.

Although he did bring up a point about how his faith is meaningless since he angered the whole Muslim world. If he’s a Christian, which he is, then if he angered the entire Muslim world then surely history tells us that he should be made a saint?

The So Outrageous that it’s Borderline Hilarious

It has to be Euro 2012 and the fact that UEFA still think that holding the tournament in Ukraine and Poland was a good idea. Ok, I admit that the problems have mainly emanated from Poland, but neither country is free from blame. Let’s list just some of the problems that we have seen so far.

Before the tournament began the Dutch team were racially abused during their training session in front of 20,000 people.

Mario Balotelli racially abused in both of Spain’s games, as well as having a banana thrown onto the pitch.

Russian supporters attacked stewards and sent a few to hospital after their win against the Czech Republic in their first game.

Russian and Polish supporters fought running battles through Warsaw during Russia’s national day, as well as a flag that said: “This is Russia” somehow making it into the ground during the game.

Multiple flares thrown onto the pitch during Croatia’s game against Italy, which actually stopped the game for a few minutes.

And this is just the group stage of Euro 2012. We haven’t even made it to the end of that yet and only four teams have been officially eliminated so far. Surely this tells you that Eastern Europe isn’t yet fit to be hosting a major tournament. This is not racism on my part either, all of these incidents have been caused by supporters from Eastern Europe. It makes you wonder why so many Western supporters have refused to attend the tournament doesn’t it?

Anyway maybe next week won’t be so bleak and irritating after all…