News in Briefs 21/05/12

At the time of writing, Chelsea have just won the European Championship for the first time in their history and their ultimate goal of buying every major club trophy has come to fruition. Obviously, its sport that’s dominated the latter end of the week, but Greece decided to pop up yet again and ruin everybody’s economic recovery.

Political Oops of the Week

My political oops of the week may actually be a tad controversial as I’m choosing the G8 commitment to keeping Greece in the Euro and promoting growth. Let’s look at what they are trying to do. They have a country on its knees without a stable government and they want to pump more and more money into it in order to promote growth and help it recover.

Now, this is just looking at the problem on paper. On paper the solution works and everything should be fine and dandy, however it doesn’t work like this. We live in a world of capitalism, and capitalism can only grow if private investors invest in that country. What moron is going to invest in Greece? Nobody will trust that country at all as it has no growth prospects and nobody is attempting to take the first move.


Keep pumping, maybe one day it'll work.

Politicians can spill their silly words as much as they like, but no investor with any ounce of success will buy into it. Eventually, this is going to collapse like a pack of cards. There can be no recovery without a reset button. It would be best to let them collapse and then use the money we would have used pumping cash into a pointless cause to save Europe and limit the collapse. But they won’t do that. Within a few years we are going to be on our knees with the rest of Europe, and there will be a lot of violence.

The Painful…

Will Smith was in the news this week as his Men in Black 3 premier in Russia turned violent when a reporter attempted to kiss him on the lips. He didn’t take too kind of this so a swift backhanded slap ended the reporter’s crusade to kiss a black, American film star. But the shocking thing was that Will Smith actually apologised in his next interview, which is kind of strange since he was the victim here. If a random guy tries to kiss you on the lips then you punch him in the face immediately. reported that this wasn’t an incident which is out of the ordinary for the Ukrainian reporter in question, though, as he apparently makes his name by attempting to kiss unsuspecting celebrities.

Will Smith slap

…And the Pointless

Do you remember those times where we see someone from reality TV, especially Big Brother, and you are internally screaming “Please, for the love of humanity, please just die.”? I do, in fact that’s why I stopped watching that sort of stuff as it makes me go a little crazy, but the medication does help. Jade Goody was famous for passing on when she was under 30, and it surely wasn’t going to be the last victim of an early death if we look at the lifestyles some of these celebrities lead today.

It happened again quite recently actually as a Big Brother star from series 10 died. Sophia Brown, a Lupus sufferer (for those who don’t know, it’s an ulcerative skin disease), has reportedly passed away at the age of 30 (yes, another one who couldn’t make it over 30). As of this writing, the cause of death was unknown. However, the way I see it is that it’s just removing a small skid mark from the underwear of the world, and yet it’s received massive coverage over multiple news websites. It’s quite amazing how someone so irrelevant can gain more coverage than a heroic individual saving someone from a burning building, for example.


The so Outrageous that it’s Borderline Hilarious

Some things are just not supposed to appear in a meal. These things are known as meal breakers. Lately, a hash brown from McDonalds had a deep friend giant insect baked into it, but 14-year-old Ryan Hart had a meal breaker of his own as he found part of a human finger in his meal. The Arby’s restaurant in Michigan admitted that the finger had most likely come from a worker who had injured themselves and then left the area. Although, it does confuse me exactly how no worker noticed that somebody had just chopped their finger off in the first place. Still, if they did then we wouldn’t be able to see one of these meal breakers in action.

McDonalds grill

How in the blue hell did nobody notice that?

A Positive Outlook for the Week

I’ll be honest, this is going to be a terrible week for me. Firstly, people are still going to be worrying about the Eurozone, and then handling it badly. But at the same time I’m going to have to watch a load of utter tosh about the Olympic Relay. Yes, we get it, the torch is going around a large part of the country. It doesn’t need a news bulletin every few hours, seriously. Oh and the Jubilee again. 60 years of sitting on one’s behind, waving, and pretending to care about poor people through a charity doesn’t warrant millions and millions of pounds for a celebration.

So next week will be as bleak and irritating after all…