News in Briefs 13/05/12

When we do the ‘political oops of the week’ it’s normally a metaphorical oops, but this week it’s a literal one. We also have painful mixed with stupidity, as well as lots of other news. It’s actually quite a good week for this column because we had to cut stuff which would have made it last week, the week before that, etc.

Political Oops of the Week

As promised, this week’s oops is literal. Have you ever been watching the television only to find out you just won an election to become the mayor of the town? No? Me neither, but one Italian man did just that. Isn’t it strange how it always seems to be a town in the middle of rural Italy that comes up with these stories?

50-year-old Fabio Borsatti rose to fame in the mountain town of Cimolais as he became the mayor of the town. The truth is he actually just stood as a candidate as a favour to a friend who was the reigning mayor of the town. The reason for this is that he thought that it would seem a little sketchy if he was the only candidate, and therefore winning by default.

But run he did, and through all the odds he overcame everything and found out about it when somebody rang him up to congratulate him whilst he was watching the football. Mayor Borsatti even admitted that he didn’t even want to become mayor, however he was stuck with it.

You can’t really begin to understand how unlikely this occurrence was until you find out that his own family voted against him.

Good luck running a town like Cimolais when you didn’t even have any policies to start with, Mayor Borsatti!

The Painful…

Some people are just destined to be morons. This latest moron is British woman Jane Beirne, 57, who just had major surgery to reattach her heel after she slipped off a jetty that had no handrails in Israel. She hit a piece of metal and it left her heel hanging off of her foot. Naturally, she had no travel insurance so she had to pay around £10,000 to have it reattached.

Jane Beirne

At least she managed to find her heel this time.

She is now attempting to sue the mayor of Ma-alot Tarshikha in Israel because of her injury. If you can’t already see the flaw in her plan then let me enlighten you.

First of all, she is trying to sue the town on the basis that there were no handrails on the jetty. This would be completely understandable if it happened in this country, however there are no such rules over there. So she is now attempting to apply our rules and standards to another country. Fail number one.

Now, she honestly believes that she can use the solicitors of Britain to sue a town half a world away. And this is despite the fact that legal advice has told her that she would be unable to lodge a successful claim. Fail number two.

Finally, the fact she is out of pocket is that she forgot to take out travel insurance in the first place. She booked the holiday online so she is either just plain stupid or this is a convenient excuse to attempt to sue somebody. My verdict is that she tried to save money and is she now looking for a convenient excuse to get her money back. Fail number three, and you’re out!

…And the Pointless

This week it was the TIME Magazine cover which held a picture of a three-year-old breastfeeding that sparked controversy this week. Supposedly, people were upset because of the age of the child. But my question is why does it matter?

And the concept of breastfeeding is not the only reason I’m talking about this. I’m talking about this because people still seem to think that it’s their place to tell people how to raise their child. Now I’m not saying that inciting hatred or beating them is right as they are blanket issues which come into contact with the law of the land. But this breastfeeding picture in TIME Magazine seems to imply that people should be able to tell other people exactly how long to do something for, when to do something, and if they don’t do it they judge them.

TIME Magazine

Take a look at the slogan on the front: “Are You Mom Enough?” Already it’s implying that those who don’t breastfeed for this long are in some way inferior to other mothers. The article inside might not imply that, but the fact is that people are going to glean that sort of impression when they read the front cover.

Seriously, mind your own damn business!

The So Outrageous Yet Borderline Hilarious

Cockfighting is illegal in every US state, however it still goes on in places like California due to the fact that getting caught for illegal cockfighting only incurs a misdemeanour, whereas in other states it amounts to a serious criminal offense. The cocks (pun intended) got their revenge this week, though, as one man felt the full force of one cock (pun is still intended), and simultaneously suffered the consequences of breaking the law on cocks (pun will always be intended from now).

During the illegal cockfighting in the central California county of Tulare, the two animals had sharp knives attached to their legs; which is common practice. But Jose Luis Ochoa, aged 35, who was attending the fight, got more than he bargained for when he was attacked by one of the participant’s cocks.

The cock stabbed him in his leg with one of the knives and he was pronounced dead when he arrived at the hospital two hours later. At the moment, they are debating whether it was the fault of the people present that he died as he wasn’t given immediate treatment, but the fact is that he’s dead and it must have been a serious injury.

The coroner’s report reads “sharp force injury” to the right calf of Mr. Ochoa. Animal lovers will be smiling everywhere right now.


A Positive Outlook for the Week

Do you remember the time when you find a comedian who you really love for years and years and years, but as he gets older he steadily gets worse. You stay and watch him, but eventually people tell him he needs to stop. He doesn’t stop, though. He continues until you just want to kill him with a rusty hammer made out of the tears of the mass unemployed. Jeremy Hunt is like that, although he was never loved. But this week, I think he’s going to finally go.

So maybe next week won’t be so bleak and irritating after all…