News in Briefs 04/03/12

One word has dominated the news this week: “Homs” And quite frankly I’m getting tired of it now because nothing different happens from day to day, all they report on is a few more deaths. And then we had to listen to lots of people attempting to analyse something which doesn’t really need to be analysed. But, on the plus side, at least the meaningless talks surrounding the NHS managed to die down for a week; it gives us time to prepare for another week of Jeremy Kyle-style points scoring.

Political Oops of the Week

In hindsight, this was something which really shouldn’t have carried as a story, but at least it provided some needed relief from the cycle of “You are ruining the economy!”, “No, you ruined the economy first.”, and “You are trying to bring Thatcherism back!” crap we are forced to sit through on the Miliband and Cameron show.

This week we were introduced to the media-dubbed “Horsegate” which involved the PM and Rebecca Brooks’ borrowed police horse, and whether he rode it or not.


On Wednesday we started with the PM attempting to laugh off the affair, but still implying that he hadn’t rode the horse by saying that: “the only horses I am interested in are the ones you can put a bet on.” That should have been the end of it, right? Wrong!

On Thursday Mr. Cameron was asked again, but this time he claimed that it was “a matter of record” that he had been riding with Charlie Brooks (Rebecca’s husband) before, but he hadn’t rode with him after the election. Ok, so now we have gone to a denial to begrudgingly agreeing that he has ridden a horse with the husband of the owner of the horse. So that’s a little suspicious, but it wasn’t over yet.

In a surprising twist, it was Jeremy Clarkson who then felt he wasn’t getting enough attention, so he chimed in. He then went on to say that he lives there and he could confirm that the PM hadn’t ridden the horse; along with a Tory source which said that it didn’t know.

And finally, the PM admitted that he had ridden the horse repeatedly. But like any good politician, he went on to provide a eulogy to the now-deceased horse. Create some sympathy, David? Good job, you really are a great politician.

It was like watching a dog attempting to chase its tail all week. Oh, David!

The Painful…

Later this week we all got to watch the vile scenes as militants in Libya were seen on a YouTube video destroying a British war cemetery just outside Benghazi where the heroes of Churchill’s famous desert rats were buried. This was partially painful because Britain had helped, both now and in the Second World War, to free the country from oppression, and that’s the thanks it gets.

But what was painful for many people was the fact that only one day previously David Starkey had attracted a lot of controversy on Question Time when he claimed that: “People don’t like to be freed” [when asked about whether Britain should liberate Syria]. The media and people all across the nation slaughtered him for such “disgusting” remarks, but he’s clearly right as one day later the videos emerge of recently-liberated Libyans destroying a British war cemetery.

He demonstrated through his historical knowledge that the French people were ashamed after they were liberated in the Second World War, and the media just proved how right he was about the Libyan people who, evidently, felt the same way too. David Starkey really should be in politics, but it’s just a shame how someone who’s so right is slammed because he doesn’t conform to the politically correct style of the day.

And the Pointless…

Zynga is breaking away from Facebook! Oh no! Wait, you don’t know who Zynga are? Well Zynga are the American games company which created such “fantastic” and “revolutionary” hits as Farmville and Cityville.

But they are now tired of living in the shadow of Facebook so they are planning to move away from the social networking giant. So, assuming the move goes well, those who want to play their favourite games will now be able to play them away from Facebook. But I just have one query. Who cares?

This is so irrelevant and meaningless that it’s really only relevant to those directly involved in the corporate side of Zynga and Facebook because even if the move goes ahead successfully users will still be able to play the same games through Facebook. So how exactly is this news at all? The answer is that it’s not because nothing is changing for anyone but those behind the scenes, and generally when something only applies behind the scenes of something you don’t find it necessary to report it to the world.

Hey, in the place I work we are deciding to paint the backroom soon, but don’t worry because I contacted the BBC with this important information.

The so Outrageous that it’s Borderline Hilarious

Great news! Now you get to pay even more for your petrol as petrol prices hit a record high this week, again.

Currently, petrol prices after the rise now stand at 137.44p per litre and diesel has now ascended to the dizzying heights of 144.60p a litre. But the kicker is that oil prices have actually fallen from their record high. So why have petrol prices gone up and why are experts still predicting that prices are still going to keep rising regardless?

The answer is that they are going to try and squeeze as much out of us as possible because when was the last time anyone ever saw petrol prices go down for any reason? This writer certainly can’t answer that. But this is only going to spell bad news for the economy as people are naturally going to cut spending on petrol or cut spending in shops because people just don’t have the money to pay for it anymore.


Ah, this is a familiar position.


At this point, the fact that petrol prices just keep going up has stopped being annoying and outrageous and its now just kind of funny because we all know that this is going to come to a bitter end one day. Either electric cars will arrive and the fuel companies will go out of business or people will be protesting, rioting, and the market for stealing fuel will boom just like copper theft did.

And I don’t think many of us will fear that day.

A Positive Outlook for the Week Ahead

With the Syrian army crushing the city of Homs we will be able to see some sort of development in the conflict in Syria, so that’s something to look forward to because we would all like to think that most people want to see some sort of end to the fighting. The conflict will certainly be entering its next destructive phase now.

The subject of gay marriages is appearing again in the news, both in the US and in the UK, and it looks like it’s a victory for common sense and a defeat for bigotry and intolerance as politicians are now starting to challenge the established religions on the subject of marriage. In the past few weeks we have seen a few US states legalise gay marriage, too, and the UK looks like it’s fully on its way to a brighter tomorrow too.

In the US, we will be one step closer to setting the scene for the November elections to determine who will take the most powerful post in the world. With next week’s ‘Super Tuesday’ we should see a comprehensive victory for religious nutcase Rick Santorum or a comprehensive victory for tax-dodgy Mitt Romney. Either way, I’m not predicting anything other than an Obama win this November.

So maybe next week won’t be as bleak and irritating after all…