News in Briefs 01/07/12

There’s a thief in our midst! Ok, that’s not really a shock as it seems like there’s always a thief around these days. But things just seem to get worse. Just when you think that the worst of something has passed it just comes back and slaps you back in the face again. Anyway, I think you might be able to predict some of what comes up this week.

Political Oops of the Week

So Chancellor Angela Merkel decided to give in and now the German taxpayer will be actively funding the broken banks of Europe. I can’t help but think that this will be the decision that everybody regrets in the next five years. Let’s look at it like this. Germany has essentially said that we will save Europe with everything we have. Now, the only way they can do this is by plugging more and more money into it.

It’s nothing but a delusion. What Chancellor Angela Merkel doesn’t realise is that it’s just deluding the markets because every time German money is plugged into the hole the markets will go up, but the currency is fundamentally flawed. It’s broken and it just eats money and swallows it up. Unlike other currencies that occasionally get hungry, the Euro suffers from perpetual hunger. After what it’s been through no investor will trust it again. It will collapse, and now that Germany has committed herself she will go down with the Euro sooner or later.

Let’s look at the overall logic of the affair. Closer integration and spending got us into this mess in the first place. So what’s the logic to solve the problem? Oh that’s right, more integration and more spending. Yeah, that’ll work.

Homeless

Oh look it's a vision of Germany in the future.

The Painful…

Lord Wei, the guy who was the guru of David Cameron’s Big Society plan, has marked his return to public life as he just revealed that he wants to encourage new retirees to volunteer and give something back to the community. Ok, he hasn’t said that it’s compulsory or anything like that, it’s not like national service. Now, I can understand that it would be a nice thing to have as some pensioners probably would like to volunteer and do something with their time. But what gets me is that he’s having the audacity to say that pensioners should be giving something back to society.

The contradiction in what Lord Wei is saying is shocking. As part of this Big Society initiative he’s saying that since pensioners have worked for the community all their lives they should now be giving back to the community. How is working your entire life not giving something to society? If anything they should be encouraged to go away and do what they like because they’ve dedicated their lives to society. It just seems so ungrateful and just blatantly wrong.

I don’t have a problem with the fact that he wants to make a service like this available, but what I do have a problem with is the way he’s presenting it. He’s making it sound as if new retirees haven’t given enough and should be made to do more. In other words, he’s basically going for the guilt-trip factor.

…And the Pointless

The pointless, wow, we have something quite weird this week. This week it was aged 46 Nicolas Saunders who was caught by his ex-wife in her bed with her bull mastiff. If you don’t know what a bull mastiff is then we’ve provided you with a picture of one here. And, yes, the father-of-three was naked. He actively called the dog to his room and his wife found him attempting to stick his lightning rod into Sasha’s weather balloon; Sasha is the dog.

He was then arrested and was forced to provide a sperm sample, which, of course, came back as a 100% match to the substance found on Sasha. But Mr. Nicolas Saunders isn’t finished yet. Even despite his humiliation he now has to go back to court for pre-sentencing. I’m curious to know how many years you can possibly get for having sex with your ex-wife’s dog, maybe he can tell us all about it soon?

Bull mastiff

The So Outrageous that it’s Borderline Hilarious

This is the part that’s incredibly predictable. I’ll just give you one entity to attune you to the subject matter that I’m going to be discussing next. Ready, ok let me just stretch it out, it’s the banks. Yes, the banks are at it again. Corruption, cheating, thieving, and doing it doggy style with the public’s money once again.

Thief

Firstly, the banks started by being caught for manipulating interest rates. Although as of this writing it’s only been Barclays that were fined the £290 million the other banks are also under investigation, and the case is expected to cast its net over a number of American banks as well. So expect more fines and more naming and shaming to come after this case.

But it wasn’t over, oh no. Less than 48 hours later they were back in the news because they’ve been caught mis-selling insurance plans to small businesses. Supposedly, these expensive packages were designed to protect small businesses against the impact of changing interest rates. Whilst the packages were perfectly applicable to some businesses, the banks were selling them to companies that didn’t even need them. And they were too complicated to understand so they made sure that nobody would ever know that they were pointless.

And before this we had the Payment Protection Insurance (PPI) scandal, which was just blatant exploitation. Oh and nobody can forget all the stuff that we had to deal with in 2008 when they almost committed suicide.

What can we do about it though?

The answer is probably nothing as they have a complete and total hold over us. If we upset them then they just move somewhere else. And if that happens then London will turn into a slum.

Anyway, maybe next week won’t be so bleak and irritating after all…